Five Games You Might Have Missed In May 2021

You can find a video version of this article here Five Games You Might Have Missed In May 2021

As always humorous jabs made at anything in these lists are done in jest, unless it’s at myself, in which case, it’s probably true!

It’s May, and we all know what that means, next month is June. We are going to get slammed with world premier game announcements faster than a paywalled reporter can block people on Twitter while leaking those same announcements an hour ahead of time.

New exclusive games will be shown off for the next-gen consoles that are harder to find than my girlfriend’s libido whenever I take my clothes off. The solution to either one is to go screw yourself or pay someone else a whole lot of money instead!

Various companies will show all kinds of amazing new games. But Nintendo will show a fat plumber in a red hat or a silent Peter Pan knock-off, and everyone will claim they won E3 anyway. Meanwhile, their system struggles under the weight of anything more demanding than a calculator. If you catch my drift.

But that’s next month. There are still a whole bunch of cool games that some of you probably missed. Not to worry, every month, I take Steam’s Bukkake of upcoming game releases right in the eye so that I can spot the strongest swimmers and implant them directly to you. I recently had to get a new prescription for eyeglasses, so I hope you all appreciate this.

Five Nations

Five Nations is from a bygone era of nice things that no longer exist. Video game manuals, Warcraft 3 Classic, and my dignity. It’s a new space-focused real-time strategy game that gives me nice tingly feelings about when I first plopped in a cartridge of Starcraft 64. And then I got my ass wrecked harder than Sony fans who naively believed Bethesda games weren’t gonna be exclusive to Xbox.

The ladies might call me the micro man, but that sadly does not translate into micromanagement RTS skills. By the time I move one unit three feet to the left, the enemy has burnt down anything I ever loved and repeatedly rubbed their male reproductive organs all over my face.

Five Nations has a lovely old-school look but is also jammed pack with content. You’ll never guess how many nations you can choose from, and there are 56 campaign missions. Plus a Skirmish mode to battle it out with the AI.

The game is purely single-player, in some way, that’s comforting. It means that ideally, the AI has to be fairly decent to make up for the lack of human opponents. Then again…Total War’s AI exists, so maybe I better not get ahead of myself. There is a demo on Steam if you’re interested.

Before We Leave

Before We Leave is a city-building game about attempting to thrive while also leaving the world better than you left it. You know, the complete opposite of what we are doing in real life. If we ever become an interplanetary species, the earth is gonna be like that nasty old dorm room you moved away from, solid as steel cum socks and all.

Interestingly the game is non-violent. I’m far from the virtue-signaling crowd that says violent games are now bad and becoming eerily similar to the Satanic Panic high horse riding crew they hated decades ago. But I still like it when games try a new idea. Games without conflict can still be really good.

Lack of conflict does not mean a lack of challenge, however. You still need to contend with pollution, economics, food, and other problems that are inherent to survival besides beating each other with clubs. I also really dig the hexagonal map. I’m a sucker for board game aesthetics since playing real ones is where I get to pretend that I have friends!

Cardnarok: Raid With The Gods

Cardnarok is a mythology-based deck-building rogue-lite that has an adorable theme and aesthetic, which a welcome contrast to actual mythology. Mythology is one of those things that sounds awesome. Then you read about it, and it’s less awesome and more perverse animal sex. People who say knowledge is power never read about Zeus’s coitus in the form of a golden shower. You’re either grossed out by that or your last name rhymes with Dump.

You play as three Gods from Greek or Egyptian mythology and battle a variety of creatures pulled from both myths. The three-character concept mixed with rogue-lite deck building looks to provide space for a whole lot of neat combos. And the cute visuals are appealing.

Interestingly, even more mythologies are planned even though the game is no longer in early access, which is pretty cool. Deck builders and mythology are pretty much a match made in heaven, so if you’re a fan of the genre it’s probably worth checking out.

King of Seas

I adore Pirate games. They are games about power. You do what you want, take from the weak, give nothing back, and laws do not apply to you. It’s basically how corporations function under capitalism! We poors will have to settle for King of Seas to imagine what that feels like since the only thing that trickles down is the sticky end result of upper management screwing you.

King of Seas is a neat ship-focused open-world RPG. You can conduct trade, complete quests, and of course plunder booty. King of Seas also leans more into the fictional side of pirates with fancy semi-magical power-ups that make fights more interesting, as well ghost ships and enough tentacles to give weebs a nose bleed.

There is a demo on Steam. I found it to be a lot of fun even though I sank ten times in a row, after which the thirty-minute demo timer was up. But it definitely gives you a nice feel for whether or not it’s a game that you will treasure.

Tainted Grail: Conquest

Earlier I showed you show you a cutesy deck builder based on mythology. But I have been known to play for the other team on occasion. I mean, I’m always the last one picked and beggars can’t be choosers. So, now I’m gonna show you a dark and edgy deck builder based on Arthurian Legend that just had its 1.0 release.

Tainted Grail: Conquest has you exploring a land of corrupted wyrdness. Which basically describes me. Except I’m less of a conquest and more of a regrettable mistake thrown a night of pity. Tainted Grail is a very deep game with 9 heroes, 460 cards, and a wicked number of combos.

It’s a rogue-lite with permadeath, but your meta progression comes in the form of a village and NPCs you rescue that provide bonuses for your next run. Tainted Grail’s visuals are unlike that of pretty much any other deck builder so hopefully, it ends up being a high Excaliber title.

I don’t want to go around this table all day, but I’m reviewing the game once I’m done playing with my Lancelot. You can look forward to that in the future. If I make one more bad pun, my punishments Guinevere…

That’s all this time folks. I didn’t have the time to put together a big list this month, but I hope you still found something interesting. I do try to maintain my game release calendar, so it’s probably worth a look before I take the May portion down early next month. In addition to E3, I also have to renew Gideon’s Gaming in June so consider checking out the below links if you regularly find my crap helpful or entertaining.

You may also enjoy my 10 Games You Might have Missed In April 2021